As we enter the last week of 2010, I am grateful to have made so many new friends. Moving to a new city gives you ample opportunity to do so. Hopefully, 2011 will present additional chances to expand my friend circle. With that in mind, I can’t help but realize there is a small circle of friends that we all call ‘close friends.’ After reading “The Power of Who” by Bob Beaudine, I want to make sure that I become a good friend and that my good friends are mutually benefited.

I recall a passage that I read a few years ago. I do not know the original author, and I may have made some changes to the original document. Regardless, I now present for your reading pleasure the definition of Real Friends.

REAL FRIENDS

Are you tired of all those sissy “friendship” poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship:

1. When you are sad – I will help get you drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue – I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile – I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared – I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried – I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
6. When you are confused – I will use little words.
7. When you are sick – Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don’t want whatever you have.
8. When you fall – I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath…I pledge it till the end. Why, you may ask. Because you are my friend.

Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of two and one of them isn’t speaking to you right now anyway.

Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.